Know You Before You Do You

Have you ever wondered if you would like you if you met you?

Loaded question, I know.

I don’t want to bring down the chipper tempo of this blog down to anything serious-minded, but I truly think that something a lot of people in life don’t ever get to really achieve is actually knowing who they are and understanding that person, all while being okay with it.

Before we wake up in the morning and jump into living our lives, we have to take care of who we are first, like what’s going on inside and upstairs. Otherwise, you will be eating a meatball sub at 4am with puke in your hair and no one texting you back.

I think it took me almost 22 years to acquire even just the slightest grasp of how my brain works as well as learning how to recognize my flaws and accept the things I (and plastic surgery) can’t change. I’ve been saying this for a while and it’s likely to be an everlasting statement, but I’m working on it. It’s a work in progress for sure but the first step is acknowledging the problem, right? (Don’t say my court ordered AA meetings from my DUI didn’t teach me anything! – Also, don’t try to run and hide behind a dumpster. They will find you).

Anyways, I wasn’t having the greatest morning yesterday. I actually cried in the shower and nothing is more dramatic than crying in the shower. You’re just standing there all wet and sad, staring at tile; it’s awful. What made it worse was that the reason I was upset was so stupid, so pointless and completely my own fault. I let a very senseless thing get to me. I was having a real moment of weakness-the kind T Swift sings about. Correspondingly, I am THE most groundless and irrational person when I am PMSing. Whatever. See, I am identifying it! I may be in the drive thru of a Taco Bell at 10am but I’m identifying the problem!

When I wrapped up my little pity party, I walked to my Starbucks and got my usual. (Yes, I have a usual and yes it makes me feel cool. I always feel like I’m in a Kate Hudson movie)

So, there was this lady there wearing a stupid red sweater and she just seemed to be having the dandiest morning anyone in a red sweater could ever have!

You might not know this, but when you’re cranky, a cheery lady in a red sweater is the most irritating thing in the world.

As I was at the little cream and sugar station accessorizing my coffee, she comes up to me and was like, “Hey there, neighbor! I saw you getting in your car earlier this morning and I just love your boots. I was talking to my husband about them. Love the brown with the red zipper. Are they Steve Madden? Where did you get them? ‘HONEY IT’S THE GIRL WITH THE BOOTS!’ I just love them! You also have really good hair.”

(Ok, I made up the part about her saying that I have really good hair. Either way.)

…Maybe you had to be there and see her stupid sweater and her stupid Saturday morning smile, but this lady was all up in my face asking me one too many questions about my damn boots. I was so annoyed by her and as a result, I wasn’t very pleasant towards her.

I don’t know if it’s because she was strange and invasive but I’m pretty sure I was just grumpy and all worked up about something very meaningless and she was merely being a nice person.

I walked out of Starbucks and felt pretty shitty about myself. I could have just smiled at weird red sweater lady and said, “Hello, yes, they are Steve Madden (obvi). You should get them. The zipper matches your lovely sweater. Have a nice day. ”

Instead, I was a jerk. This just made me realize that people who are jerks really aren’t happy people.

May we all take note to my favorite Legally Blonde quote:

“Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.”

You are so right, Elle Woods!

I’m normally a very happy person who treats people nicely so it really got to me that I was so rude to a complete stranger, especially during the holiday season.

My Mom always taught me: “it’s all in how you recover”. If I see that lady in that Starbucks again, I’m buying her coffee. AND a protein box. I might even hug her and ask where she got her red sweater, let’s get crazy!

What got me all worked up yesterday morning was beyond trivial, it’s silly. Meanwhile, one of my best friends Dad is in the hospital with heart problems and exactly a year ago, all those little kids were shot at Sandy Hook right before Christmas. I recognized that every single one of us is facing their own battle and I needed to get over myself.

You know how when you’re sitting at a red light and you always turn your head to look at the person in the car next to you? It’s interesting if you wonder what their life is like and what they’re going through. No matter if they are sitting in a Mercedes or a Corolla, that person has their own emotional luggage that they’re dealing with.

(Aware I’m rambling) My point is basically that we are all human beings. We all have strange things that make us tick or upset us, we all have our own thoughts and feelings and act with our own behavior. A lot of the time, what we think is the end of the world, in reality will prove itself to be quite insignificant. If the 'problem' I was having yesterday morning is my biggest problem in my life right now, than I’m absolutely gratified by that.

Sometimes it’s hard to get over something. Sometimes it feels fucking impossible to get over something. If you can’t get over it, just get on with it. And don’t be a dick.

Pay it forward and be nice to someone today. It will make you feel good. You’re high if you think the person working in customer service at Bank of America actually gives a shit about your problems, they’re just trying to do their job. Don’t yell at them. (Unless you’re dealing with a Time Warner employee, you have my go-ahead to yell at them because everyone at that company is smoking latex and shitting pop rocks.)

TROOF:

The view is totes better from the high road. A tiger doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. Get out there and be a tiger, guys. Don’t be a sheep.

(Katy Perry’s, ‘Roar’ is obviously my power song.)