12 Reasons Why ‘The Perfect Proposal’ Video Was Actually The Worst Proposal

It’s not abnormal for me to spend the larger portion of my day scoffing at the articles and videos that have gone viral on Facebook; Sometimes it’s a riveting ‘What kind of sandwich are you?’ quiz; Sometimes it’s a (surprsingly believable) article about how the death of a recent celebrity was all a hoax; Sometimes it’s a video of a guy coming home to his dog from the war -it all varies. But yesterday it was ‘The Perfect Proposal,’ and girls went nuts. 

http://candlelightfilms.com/the-perfect-proposal/

I honestly don’t even know where to start... There is just so much wrong with this proposal video.

1. The Couple.

Um, do they even know each other?

I guess we should begin with the text prelude so kindly provided for us (our first warning that this is a nightmare)-

“After numerous Skype dates, phone calls, and 350,000 sky miles, Levy decided it was time to ask Tiffany to be his wife.”

I mean, do I even need to waste the energy explaining how ridiculous this sounds? Here are two young people who have never even lived in the same city, let alone same apartment and Levy thinks it’s time to get married. Where’s your logic, Levy? This is a terrible idea. He doesn’t even know what her breathe smells like, she doesn’t even know if he snores! This is going to be a disaster, and I hope they make a divorce video.

2. Him

I hated him as soon as I saw him. Everything from his tucked-in shirt to his underbite, it's all disgusting.

3. Her

Why is she dressed like a tween? Why is she so awkward and uncomfortable?

Wait, I’ll answer that. She’s experiencing the worst proposal ever, to a complete stranger. Also, why can’t this bitch walk? She looks like a drunk baby giraffe

4. A 13.5 Hour Long Engagement

Let me get this straight...she knew the entire day that she was going to be getting proposed to? This raises my blood pressure and now I need a snack.

5. The Limo

A proposal should not have the same vibe as a Sweet 16 birthday party. This is so wrong and so tacky.

The only good part about this video so far is that he said “mimosas” …but then quickly ruined by the worst part when he says the sweet 16 limo proposal limo is “stocked with tissues."

At this point, I just want to punt this guy in the shin.

6. The waste of money. 

Hello guys, when it comes to your proposal, please spend most cents on the diamond. Being optimistic, I’m assuming it was him who paid for all of her friends to fly out and that’s adding up to a couple grand in my head. Not to mention the several mani-pedis and lunch bill. While some girls might like this idea, all this is doing is adding dollar signs in my head to how much bigger her diamond could have been.

Her friends don’t seem like the ‘salad and water’ kind of gals either.

7. Scratch the nail salon, entirely.

This is fucking weird. This should be the best friends duty. It’s her job to figure out a way to make sure her friend has a nice manicure before her left hand makes its debut on Instagram.

Guys, just get a dope ring. Most girls I know always have their nails painted anyway. I mean, if you don’t have a gel mani on right now, then honestly what are you doing with your life?

8. ‘The Proposal Dress’

Oh, I didn’t know you got to PICK OUT what you were going to wear the night you got proposed to BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE.

(I could write a whole other article on her dress choice.)

9. His Friends.

Well, they all look 14.

And why are half of them in athletic clothes and the other half in suits? Now I’m annoyed at how much it probably cost him to hire the local high schools Mathlete team to play as his friends for the day.

These are all expenses that could be being added to the diamond.

10. He Proposed on a Football Field. 

...HE PROPOSED ON A FOOTBALL FIELD.

11. Basic Boring Speech.

Everything he said was all things I’ve heard before. I couldn’t find an sliver of passion between them, it was like a bad Drew Barrymore movie. I don’t even think he knows her favorite color. I’m honestly not quite sure she knows his name!

Also, his grand plan of having both their parents there is a disgusting way for them to meet for the first time. Her poor father.

12. The Ring

Just because I’m on a hating roll, the ring looks like a stale Cinnabon...and that’s all this video did for me, was make me want to go get a Cinnabon.

Getting proposed to is supposed to be one of the most intimate and magical moments in a girls entire life. This video is actually my nightmare proposal, a big part of it being that it’s on video and available for a girl to write a critical blog about. I don’t want a random camera crew around when I’m getting a pedicure (mainly because I’m ticklish) but definitely not when I’m being proposed to on a stinky football field. It was clearly all about him and what he wanted. I really only have one requirement for my proposal-- it's that having hate-YouTube-comments on the most important moment of my life to not be an option. The whole thing was awful except for that she was able to get a little tipsy along the way.

Understanding why no one would want to propose to me,

Kelly

XO

How Modern Day Love Has Turned Into A Game…Who’s Winning?

Nothing feeds our generations anxiety more than the classic apprehensiveness of the if/what/when to text the person you’re maybe, kind of sort of crushing on game.

“Should I text him first?” the flustered girl will ask. “What should I say!?” And here is when two or three of her best girlfriends huddle around her and try to concoct the most perfect, well-calculated text.

Girl sends: ‘Hey, what’s up?’

Now, the waiting begins.

One friend is saying he’s probably just in the shower, or he’s not by his phone; another friend might be saying that he’s purposely not answering, or he’s just not into it. Either way, we are all dying with suspense.

Fourteen minutes later, he texts back: “Chillin, hbu”. Obviously she’s going to wait at least twenty minutes before sending her next meaningless text, trying to compete on being more breezy and casual than he is and then it continues into an awful snowball effect.

…This is a prime example of one of the countless times we play ‘the love game.’ It’s a game that we are all losing because our generation doesn’t even know we’re playing. I’m just starting to figure it all out, but I can tell you that we’re definitely all losing.

First of all, aren’t we all exhausted? We are all so focused on making sure that we are ‘playing it cool’ and keeping it casual that it’s not cool at all.

We are all at fault. The female population blames guys for love never working out because ‘they are all horny douchebags and the nice guys are boring’. What girls are saying here is that they basically crave the game, they crave the anticipated time lapse between texts and wondering what he’s doing.

I’m a perfect example of this because when a guy texts me back TOO FAST, I get creeped out and think he’s too eager but when a guy takes TOO LONG to text me back, I freak out and think he’s not into me or he’s with someone else; ultimately making me want him to want me more. It’s fucking twisted.

We all want what we can’t have. I’ve heard the story too many times where the nice guy is annoyed that the girl doesn’t like him and she’s obsessed with a guy who doesn’t treat her right. I’d like to bet that if the girl decided to like the nice guy, he would lose interest because it’s not a chase anymore.

Do we want to be dating and be in control and be the one who is being chased or do we all really want that flawless deep love relationship with our soulmate and best friend? Does that even exist? Is any relationship even flawless?

Girls, don’t be pathetic. It’s no wonder you’re all single and complaining about it. We know that we all have those ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ decorations all over our apartments so how are we only Bitching, Whining, and Complaining?

Here’s a tip: Stop tweeting/instagramming dumb quotes about what you ‘deserve.’

Example: “A guy should ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.”When you do this, it paints a picture to me that you’re sitting around, staring into the sky holding a grudge on some frat guy who ‘didn’t treat you right’ and you’re now thinking of all the things he SHOULD be doing. On to the next one, sister.

Guys, Stop acting like it’s wrong to have real feelings for a girl, especially when a special one comes along. You think sleeping with random blacked out girls makes you cool? It doesn’t, it gives you HPV. If you want to walk around feeling like a boss, then take a look at the real bosses among you. Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake, the list could go on. The most bad ass men in entertainment are devoted men to a strong woman by their side.

We both have unrealistic expectations. Girls expect to be spoiled by some make believe knight in shining armor. Guys expect a make believe girl who looks good naked and also orders a bacon cheeseburger. Honestly, we are all fucked when it comes to real relationships. Once we get over the initial game of getting one another, we fight to have the control in the relationship. The game doesn’t end, it just escalates to a different level. It’s not really about love, it’s about power and how others view you and your relationship. So until shit changes, looks like we are all single for life.

Live Laugh Love,

Kelly

XO